leonardwarren Chapter 78 How many steps does it take to acquire you and your hell?
Chapter 78 How many steps does it take to acquire you and your hell?
Chu Jiang leaned against the bar, his fingers tapping lightly on the smooth surface.
"Little V, send me the due diligence report for Western Hell."
"Okay, boss."
A holographic projection of V appeared on one side of the bar, the lens reflecting a deep blue data light.
With a wave of her hand, a virtual document marked "Top Secret" and "High Risk" was projected in front of Chu Jiang.
The first page of the document features a badge engulfed in flames against a chaotic background, upon which a hydra is coiled.
"Target company: Western Hell Group."
V's mechanical voice was completely flat, like reading out a product manual.
"Based on data collection and analysis over the past 72 hours, the company's financial situation is extremely worrying."
Chu Jiang opened the financial statement and raised an eyebrow.
"A debt-to-equity ratio as high as 980%?"
"Yes, boss. Its main fixed assets are unrealizable sulfur mines, lava pools, and a collection of resentment, with a negative assessed value."
"The company has almost no working capital, and its main source of income is the 'soul contract' signed with the devil, but the bad debt rate is as high as 99%."
V Switch to the next page; the above is the business model analysis.
"The main business is 'soul torture,' and the model is simplistic and has never been updated or iterated in the past thirty centuries."
"The negative review rate from users, that is, from fallen souls, is 100%, with not a single positive review."
Chu Jiang zoomed in on a picture showing several little devils holding paper and pens, writing something on a soul.
"Their 'Seven Deadly Sins' KPI assessment is actually handwritten?"
"Yes. Data entry relied on handwritten copies, and the storage medium was parchment scrolls, which were extremely susceptible to data loss, tampering, and physical damage such as insect infestation."
V continued to ruthlessly finish off the opponent.
"Employee management is chaotic. The lower-level employees are not entitled to the five social insurances and one housing fund, nor are they entitled to paid annual leave. Overtime is commonplace, and the turnover rate has remained above 70% for many years."
"The senior management structure is bloated, with nine 'hellish monarchs' each acting independently, resulting in serious internal strife and severely impacting the company's overall strategic execution."
Chu Jiang scrolled to the last page of the report, which contained V's final assessment.
"Conclusion: The target company is on the verge of bankruptcy liquidation and may collapse at any time due to a break in its capital chain."
"The cooperation value is rated as D-, indicating that it has no investment value whatsoever."
"Recommendation: If contact is necessary, consider initiating a hostile takeover of the bankruptcy proceedings, stripping away non-performing assets, and then proceeding with restructuring."
Chu Jiang turned off the report, picked up the glass of water in front of him, and took a sip.
Great minds think alike.
"Cooperating with them is like targeted poverty alleviation, but it's the kind of poverty that can't be alleviated."
He tapped the table and gave the order to V.
"Encrypt this report and archive it. Next time Lucifer sends a message, use the customer service template to automatically reply and make him wait in line."
As soon as he finished speaking, the air inside the milk tea shop suddenly distorted.
A fist-sized vortex, burning with black flames, appeared out of thin air and rapidly expanded.
A defiant, majestic, and reverberating sound emanated from the vortex.
"Chu Jiang! I know you're here!"
"Respond to me!"
Inside the shop, Red Boy and Augustine, who were wiping the tables, were startled and immediately assumed a defensive posture.
Chu Jiang didn't even lift his eyelids, and waved his hand at the air.
"Little V, cut it off."
"Okay, boss."
V's holographic projection extended a finger and gently touched the black vortex.
"Signal interception in progress... Protocol conversion... Reverse tracing..."
"The other party's communication line has been connected and the video conferencing mode has been forcibly switched to 'Santu Express'."
The ominous black vortex suddenly burst with a "pop," like a punctured balloon.
Instead, the LCD screen displaying the milk tea shop's menu on the wall flashed and transformed into a video call interface.
On the screen, a handsome man, almost otherworldly, sits on a throne made of countless white bones.
He was dressed in a magnificent black suit, with a pair of enormous bat wings spread out behind him. His eyes were disdainful, and his aura was powerful.
It is none other than Lucifer, the CEO of the Western Hell.
He seemed not to have realized what had happened, still maintaining the posture from when he summoned the portal.
"Hello, Mr. Lu."
Chu Jiang leaned back in his chair and greeted the screen.
"Our signal isn't very good here. If you need anything, just say it over video. It's environmentally friendly and saves money."
Lucifer paused for a moment, then withdrew from his position, a hint of displeasure on his face.
But he quickly recovered and regained his majestic demeanor as the lord of hell.
"Chu Jiang, the ruler of the Eastern Underworld. I, Lucifer, the Fallen King, the master of Hell..."
"stop."
Chu Jiang raised his hand, interrupting his self-introduction.
"Mr. Lu, can we get straight to the point? My time is very valuable; I'm charged by the minute."
Lucifer's lips twitched.
"Okay, very good."
He suppressed his anger and said in a deep voice.
"I am contacting you this time because of a major event that concerns both of us, and even the entire world of the dead."
"I propose that my Western Hell and your Eastern Underworld form a strategic alliance, sharing resources and jointly developing the Three Realms market!"
He spoke with great passion, as if a project valued at hundreds of billions was right before his eyes.
Chu Jiang listened expressionlessly.
He waited until he finished speaking before slowly opening his mouth.
"Mr. Lu, I've just reviewed your business plan."
Lucifer was taken aback. "What plan?"
"That's your company's assets."
Chu Jiang picked up the tablet on the table and pointed the camera at the screen.
"A debt ratio of 980%, a business model that hasn't changed in thirty centuries, and employee benefits that are worse than those of the cleaners at my milk tea shop."
"Mr. Lu, you call this a 'strategic alliance'?"
"This isn't cooperation, this is begging for food."
On the other side of the screen, Lucifer's face visibly changed from pale to ashen, and then from ashen to purplish-red.
"You! How dare you!"
A terrifying pressure emanated from the screen, causing even Red Boy in the shop to feel a chill.
"How dare you investigate me!"
"In business dealings, due diligence is a basic procedure."
Chu Jiang completely ignored his anger, leaned forward, and placed his hands on the table with his arms crossed.
"Now, I'll show you the way."
"Forget about cooperation, I have no interest in bringing along a burden."
Lucifer laughed in anger.
"So what are you going to do?"
"I, representing the 'Yellow Realm Business Division' of the Three Crossings, hereby formally launch a full acquisition offer for your Western Hell Group."
Chu Jiang's voice was calm, yet carried an undeniable determination.
"From this day forward, you, and your hell, belong to me."
"Of course, considering that you are the founder, I can reserve the position of 'General Manager of the Western Region' for you, and you will enjoy the same performance evaluation and benefits as our deliverymen."
"By the way, there's a three-month trial period."
"You...are...dreaming!"
Lucifer abruptly rose from his throne, and the entire screen began to distort as his furious energy surged forth.
He pointed at Chu Jiang and roared, enunciating each word clearly.
"Who do you think you are? A nobody from the countryside in the East, daring to covet my kingdom!"
He suddenly waved his hand, preparing to cut off the communication.
"Don't hang up yet, Mr. Lu."
Chu Jiang's voice drifted over.
"I forgot to remind you, according to Article 27 of our newly updated 'Interim Regulations on the Handling of Cross-Regional Commercial Disputes in the Three Realms'..."
"Given that your company's credit rating has been downgraded to 'high risk' and that your legal representative has displayed an unfriendly attitude during business negotiations, we have the right to immediately initiate the 'cross-dimensional asset preservation' procedure after the communication is interrupted."
Lucifer's hand, which was about to cut off the communication, froze in mid-air.
He stared intently at Chu Jiang on the screen.
"What do you mean?"
Chu Jiang's gaze passed over Lucifer and landed on the throne behind him, which was made of countless white bones.
"It doesn't mean anything."
"It's that chair under your butt. The materials look pretty good, and the workmanship is quite exquisite."
"It should... be enough to cover the consultation fee for wasting my time this time."
Chu Jiang smiled, revealing a set of white teeth.
"Try hanging up now, and see if I can dismantle it right in front of you and sell it as scrap metal."